Marriage

"Steady As We Go"

I walk half way around the world,
Just to sit down by your side.
And I would do most anything girl,
To be the apple of your eye.

Troubles they may come and go,
But good times they are the gold.
And if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

Any place you wanna go,
Know I'll be next to you.
If it's treasure baby you're looking for,
I'll search the whole world through.

Know troubles they may come and go,
But good times they're the gold.
So if the road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

When the storm comes,
You shelter me.
And I don't say a word,
And you know exactly what I mean.
In the darkest times,
You shine on me.
You set me free.
And keep me steady as we go.

So if your heart rings dry my love,
I will fill your cup.
And if your load gets heavy girl,
I will lift you up.

Troubles they may come and go,
But good times be the gold.
So if this road gets rocky girl,
Just steady as we go.

As I focus on the final stages in planning my October wedding, like choosing the Dave Matthews Band song above as my first dance with my husband, I can't help but ponder so much about wedding s and marriage in our society. Like I mentioned in my previous post, I am at the age when most of my friends are getting married. Last summer I had six weddings to go to, and this summer I've already had three. It seems to me that weddings and funerals are really the only time when huge amounts of family and friends gather together for a common purpose. It's no wonder that the average cost of a wedding is nearly $20,000... we are perhaps searching for more meaningful ritual in our society. A wedding is the perfect opportunity to publicly celebrate a loving commitment you make to the one person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. But obviously these vows are not always realistic. The divorce rate is 50%. Why? I guess there is no single reason, but I do wonder if some people are more caught up in the idea of the wedding celebration rather than the marriage itself. I see this a lot in women my age- they are very intent on the ring, the dress, the flowers, and the food of the wedding but may not, in all actuality, be as impressed by the groom himself. I don't know if they simply put pressure on themselves to marry before they get "too old" or if they start to feel left out as they watch their friends get married, but many of my peers are making mistakes when they settle on someone to walk down the aisle with. Perhaps they'd be better off waiting for the "right guy" rather than the "right now" guy. But maybe it's unrealistic to think there is only one right person out there for you, and rather a relationship is what you make it. I don't know. Obviously, I believe that my fiance and I will last forever. I realize that no one is perfect, but I hope to find strength in the fact that we love each other in spite of our imperfections. There is a lot to consider when planning a wedding- so much more than the cake or the DJ... I am hoping to learn more about how to plan for a lifetime of marriage.

Road Trip

Well, I left Wednesday and drove 850 miles to Minnesota for a friend's wedding. It was an extremely long and tedious trip, as it rained nearly the entire time. On my journey, I did pass quite a few hours by listening to Sue Monk Kidd's wonderful novel, "The Mermaid Chair", as well as a cheesy Mary Higgins Clark mystery featuring an extremely suspenseful, yet unrealistic, kidnapping scenario.

Despite the discomforts of the long bonding experience with my Chevy Malibu, there was something to be said for getting time to just think and be alone. The next three months are bringing astonishing amounts of change to my life-- I am moving back to my home state, starting a new job, and getting married. Oh, and not to mention that I will be finishing my master's degree. So, needless to say, I have few opportunities to ponder my own thoughts and fly down the open road.

The wedding itself was beautiful. The day couldn't have been more perfect for an outdoor ceremony, the bride was stunning, and I enjoyed getting the chance to catch up with friends I hadn't seen in ages. Perhaps the highlight of the whole evening was the dance, which only got more entertaining as the night went on. At one point, the bride donned sunglasses and strummed her air guitar frantically to ACDC while we all headbanged along with her. It is truly amazing to watch my friends embark on the next phase of their lives... I feel like it was just yesterday that we went to our first college party and studied for our first college test... now everyone is getting married and having kids. I feel blessed for the opportunity to share these experiences with the friends who mean so much to me.

Missing Home

A Letter from Home
Mary Oliver

She sends me news of blue jays, frost,
Of stars and now the harvest moon
That rides above the stricken hills.
Lightly, she speaks of cold, of pain,
And lists what is already lost.
Here where my life seems hard and slow,
I read of glowing melons piled
Beside the door, and baskets filled
With fennel, rosemary and dill,
While all she could not gather in
Or hid in leaves, grow black and falls.
Here where my life seems hard and strange,
I read her wild excitement when
Stars climb, frost comes, and blue jays sing.
The broken year will make no change
Upon her wise and whirling heart; -
She knows how people always plan
To live their lives, and never do.
She will not tell me if she cries.

I touch the crosses by her name;
I fold the pages as I rise,
And tip the envelope, from which
Drift scraps of borage, woodbine, rue

Reading the poem above makes me think so much of how far I am away from my home and my mother. When I graduated from high school, I couldn't get away from my hometown any faster. I could barely stand my mom in those day and I was so ready to particpate in all the cliches of "leaving the nest", "spreading my wings", and "finding myself". It's not until nearly 10 years later, 800 miles from where I grew up, that I realize how much I can't wait to return to everything that is secure, real, and beautiful- to my family.

"I'm a Writer!"

Why the drunken picture at the Bellagio you might ask? (And no, I probably shouldn't have climbed up in the flower bed to pose!) Well, it was just moments after this that I oddly introduced myself to a group pf people as a "writer" when they asked my profession. Why? I'm not exactly sure, but it felt logical and somewhat alluring at the time. In all actuality, I am no writer, but a high school English teacher. Writing has always been a passion of mine. In fact, my secret goal is to one day write a novel. Well, I guess it's not really that secret anymore since I just posted my aspiration on a blog.... but it feels safe to admit to a group of anonymous readers.

I am pretty new to this blogging thing, but I'll do my best. Here's a bit of info about me. I am originally from Wisconsin.. land of beer, polka, cheese, snow, and, of course, the Packers. I have been living in Oklahoma for two years now, waiting for my fiance to complete his graduate degree in Anthropology. Ok, so I know how pathetic that must sound. But I haven't actually been just "waiting" for him. I have been teaching and working towards completing my master's in secondary education. I'll be done in a month and a half! I hated Oklahoma at first, but it has grown on me and I will be sad to leave and move back to Madison this fall. I have three cats, am an avid reader, and I enjoy working out, naps, cooking, eating, and spending time with friends just talking and goofing off. I have a passion for teaching and liberal politics, and I have a soft spot of animals and sweets.

But enough about me. Back to the writing thing. I would really like to start a book one of these days. I am thinking about trying to write a young adult work. I have tons of ideas and little sketches of characters I'd like to include... now what I'm missing is a plot. Any suggestions on how to get started?